A Common Concern - Bully

A Bully Free Zone sign - School in Berea, Ohio     It was a sunny afternoon, worryfather and friends were having a meal and chit chat. One of my friend told us that she felt bad recently. She told us, her daughter were often teased by her schoolmates. As she was in a famous school, many of her schoolmates are from well off family. They always go to North Asia, Europe or even US during school holiday. While my friend who is a decent family, only manage to bring her daughter to nearby places for holiday, if there is. So, her daughter is always teased by her friends, like 'kampung girl' (village girl).
This lead me to think that this is part of Bullying, though not serious.

    Bullying in school is not new. It has been in school for very long time. During my primary school time, though I wasn't targeted, but I still vividly remember that one of my classmate shouted across the class to address a female classmate as Tigress. The female classmate broke down and cried. Luckily, the bully stopped his action. And recently, Princess Aiko of Japan, daughter of the Crown Prince Naruhito was a victim of pranks and harassment from classmate. She complained that she was been hit by a ball during a game. There was a case of 15 year old girl set on fire by her school mate over a text message.
     Bullying can be in physical and verbal context. Most parents are more concern about physical bullying as they can see the physical injury. But, verbal bullying can be deadly also as for the case of Phoebe Prince due to constant verbal bullying.
      As a parents, how are you able to protect your children? It is no easy task. Child expert, Dr Michele Borba has provided some marvellous advices if your child is teased or bullied.
     I think the first thing the parents must do is to able to notice your child is been bullied. The victim might become quiet, introvert or afraid/worry to go to school.One of the story I read from newspaper, the mother noticed her daughter asked for more pocket money when going to school, while she knows that the pocket money was more than enough. She questioned her daughter and found out that her schoolmates were forcing her to give them a treat almost daily. So, communication with children is very important.
      Like Dr Michele Borba suggested, it is important to stay calm and don't get offensive when confronting the bullies. Most of the bullies are usually just want to play a prank or making fun of others. They are just been playful. If your child able to stay calm, not agitated or take it too seriously, the bullies will just go away. Teach the child to stand up for themselves but not resort to violence. If they still harass you, you should let the teachers or the principal knows. Parents are not advisable to confront the bully or the bully's parent directly as this might complicate the matter.
      Bullying is happening everywhere. Most of the children will encounter some sort of bullying. Parents are advise to stay calm too, and not to teach their kids to hit back or become offensive with bully. Help your child to build confidence and teach them how to handle bully.
     

4 comments:

Thara said...

this is a good entry. ive thought about this before too. although aydein may look tough and rough as how a boy should be now, noone knows what would happen to him say, 7 or 8 years from now. however, i did think of confronting the bully himself. at least the bully knows that the mother of the victim is monitoring his actions, not just the teachers.

worryfather said...

Hi Thara,

I don't think it is a good idea for you to face the bully. You can face him for a day or two, but you can't face him daily.
Consequences? others might laugh aydein as "Mummy's boy".. worse, aydein might not independent or confident.

More importantly, I think your son is one year old.. Don't you think you are too early to worry about that? :)

Thara said...

hmm yeah, u have a point there. wouldnt want our baby's self esteem to go low now, do we? :)

oh yes, i worry a lot. a whole lot! i think i should rename my blog now to worrymother.blogspot.com! :P

worryfather said...

Parents always want the best for their kids. That's why we worry a lot.

Kids will have their own life eventually, we only can guide them and provide what we can for them.

So, stay cool. :)

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